“What colours do you absolutely hate?” Aiva said “yellow” and I said “orange”. Our paint consultant wrote it down. “What colours do you absolutely love?” Aiva said, “purple” and I said, “I don’t really love a colour”. This is when our paint consultant started to realize that she was going to have to earn her money. Aiva piped in right away with “Navy blue. Your favourite colour is navy…his favourite colour is navy”. I looked at Gina and said “Navy”. Aiva is much more observant than I am and after thinking about it – everything I own is navy blue. I have two suits, four t-shirts, two sweatshirts, a bike, two jackets and four thousand pairs of shorts that are all navy blue. Aiva had obviously thought about colour schemes much more than I have. But let’s back it up a bit.

Aiva and I are not going to win any awards for being the most stylish couple. However, we both realize that our house looks pretty barren with its asylum white walls and complimenting bile yellow trim. We bought some paintings and some art when we first moved in but that has pretty much been the extent of our home decorating. We don’t agree on what “our look” should be and therefore nothing ever gets done. That and, if I’m honest, the fact that if we do decide on a colour scheme I may be expected to paint. So to play the role of the paint consultant/mediator/home decorator/marriage counsellor, we hired Gina. I knew she was the right person for us when I opened the door because she was dressed like a fashionable hippy but with black knee high boots. Her outfit was trendy but “out there” at the same time with so many bangles on her arms that she would look right at home with that tribe with the stretched necks. If Gina could pull off that look, she could certainly add some “tones” to our place.

You know when you get your eyes tested and the doctors do that “One or two? Two or three? Three or one?” thing? That’s what Gina did with colour slides with us. Aiva’s general response was to tilt her head sideways and look perplexed while my responses were “ummms” in varying volumes and blinking at different speeds. Eventually Gina figured out our facial ticks and we were moving along quickly. She always found colours we both liked that miraculously matched each other. I only got caught out once saying that I didn’t like a colour the first time and then five “ummms” (blink blink) later said that I really liked it.

So now we have a blueprint for our house that includes the colours: grey pepper, rubble, olive, chintz grey, atlantic, red lantern and purple basil. Every wall, door, railing and bit of trim has a new colour designation. All we have to do is find a painter that does paint by numbers and we are in business. The other bit of good news is that now we both agree that I shouldn’t be doing the painting. Success all around.